Coaching for Change

2009-09-24T14:50:00.000-07:00

Just back from my holidays and wow, what a fantastic holiday that turned out to be! From the moment we left home to the moment we returned it was a thoroughly restful experience. For me the most awe inspiring site was the cruise down the Hardanger Fiord.
I found myself a quiet place on one of the upper decks, right at the front of the ship. As the ship cruised quietly and majestically along through the beautiful calm still waters I was taken aback by the sheer magnitude of what surrounded me. As we sailed along passing small wooden houses, sitting on the sides of the Fiords, I watched the waves from the ship splash silently onto the sheer sides of the mountainous cliffs. I watched the people waving from the shore at what must have looked to them, to be a very large ship, yet they appeared so small and hardly significant in the scale of what surrounded them. The mountains towered high to touch the clear sunset skies and the majesty of the scene almost overwhelmed me.
As I sat there marvelling at this wonderful creation that surrounded me and thought about how many centuries those mountains would have stood there, how many cruise ships they would have witnessed travelling down the Fiord I considered how insignificant we really are in the scale of things. I thought about all the things I have considered as problems and inconveniences over the years, how my worries about relationships, money, plans for the future etc., had at times overwhelmed me, and then considered how many other people may have had similar thoughts as they cruised down the Fiord. In spite of all those worries, life would go on, when we have long left this earth there will people in years to come who will marvel at the creation that was before me now It struck me that my small worries would be forgotten in a nano second compared to the impact this scenery was having on me and others like me over the centuries. Then I got to thinking, what was I capable of leaving behind that could possibly impact on people over the centuries in a way that this scene would?
No matter how important we think we are in this life, when we are gone memories soon fade away and we as mere human beings are soon forgotten. The earth itself has been here for so long and despite the way we treeat it as a whole, it will outlive us all giving pleasure to each and everyone of us from here to eternity.

So, as darkness fell and more food beckoned from the Dining room, I decided, "Get over youself girl, you will only walk this way once, take advantage of every opportunity that comes your way, be kind to things and people around you and give thanks for the life you have. It may not be a perfect life, but it is the one you were given so enjoy it. Live long, laugh often and love always whether that be to man or earth. Ensure you care for everything that you encounter to ensure the heritage for our children is not forgotten or harmed as we leave the earth to the next generation.

Past, present and future orientations

2009-07-30T11:14:00.000-07:00

Hi Everyone,
Well this week it was my turn to take a leaf out of my own book and think about taking that summer vacation we all need so desperately, and that I was advocatig for us all in the last newsletters!
Speaking to a friend on Monday night we both decided we needed a break and by Tuesday lunch time the deed was done and the holidays booked, house sitters sorted, dog booked into kennels, and currency ordered. Now there is just that lovely period of anticipation waiting for the holiday to come. Planning all the lovely things we will do, the clothes I will need to buy, imagining all the interesting people I will meet and ....... oh the list could go on and on!
I think for me the anticipation and excitement is the best part, I am very future orientated, I live my life in full anticipation of how good things will be in the future when I have...... but that got me thinking about some of my clients and thinking about how so often some of them are stuck in their past, reflecting and going over past events, thinking if only... that they miss out on the present possibilities of what they could be enjoying now. Life is too short to be filled with regrets and to spend time musing about lost opportunities but the danger for me in being future orientated is that I am in danger of missing out on the here and now. I am so busy anticipating my holidays that I might miss the lovely things that are happening right now under my nose!
In my work with clients it is important to find out where and how they live their lives to ensure they get the most out of the opportunities being made available to them. It is important to get a balance between all three areas and not be so entrenched in one area to the detriment of the others. If we fail to spend any time in our past orientation then we fail to gain all the benefit we could from reflecting on what we did, what we felt about it and what we learned from the process, if we are too engrossed in the present we might fail to identify new opportunities on the horizon and if we are too future orientated life will just pass us by and we will be left wondering what happened along the way as we sit quietly at the end of our lives only then having the time to really reflect on how things were along the way!

So I guess my message is take each day as it comes, enjoy the moment, reflect on things completed and done but do not dwell needlessly on lost opportunities or you may miss the next batch as they come along.

I have a special offer on personal coaching sessions at the moment, just for the month of August, contact me now to hear more. This offer cant last long and once the places have all been taken up prices will revert to their usual rates. If you book and pay for 4 sessions in advance you can have them for the price of three! How about that for a summer bargain!

2009-07-08T03:30:00.000-07:00

Hi Everyone,
This week has been an exciting time in my house, my youngest daughter has just graduated from University with her 2:1 BSc Geography and I am one very proud Mum!
It has not been an easy time for her as she has worked through her final year and now safely at the end of the degree it seemed to me that this would be a very exciting time for her as she started to plan the next stage of her life. However along with a large number of her friends this new status seems to have come with a new set of challenges, what is this new stage of her life to be?
Will she seek employment and a car and all the trappings that go along with that or is this a time to explore the world and all that it has to offer, or are there other things that I have yet to hear about that she might have up her sleeve?

This dilemna got me thinking that although as adults we may have gone through University with a clear expectation at the end of what our next step might be, the choices for young people today are somewhat different to the ones we had. travelling is now a favoured option by many, others like to take on a number of different jobs to widen their CV prior to looking at longer term options while others may opt for straight employment or maybe graduate schemes. One thing that seems to be common for many young people is the lack of "something" that prevents them moving on. For some that may be confidence, others may have a lack of understanding about the processes, for others it may be a a lack of awareness or knowledge about what to do.

So my thoughts went on, how could I as a life coach help with this process?
I thought about the model I work to and realised that the model would work perfectly to help the graduates consider their options. The next stumbling block may have been the price, so as a Mother of a new graduate I thought about how could this be made accessible for penniless graduates?

In training as prospective coaches, we were encouraged to consider the perceived value of the coaching for the client, and with this in mind I started to consider the costings and how I could encourage the graduates to come along and have a taster of what the coaching could offer to them. To this end I am offering taster sessions in what will be a user-friendly format where a group of up to 5 graduates can book my services for a flat fee of £300 for 3 x 2 hour sessions.
In this way we can begin to look at the coaching process, they will each gain an understanding of how coaching works and they will be able to make a plan for the next steps of their life. At the end of these three sessions the graduates can negotiate further group sessions if this is working for them or they may prefer individual sessions either by phone or face to face to move them on to their desired outcome.

One thing I will guarantee is that provided they come along committed to the process the coaching will work and will shift some of the perceived blocks in their minds that may be preventing them from achieving their goals and by the end of the three weeks plans will be in place to move them on!

The pay off for me is that once these young people have experienced the power and effectiveness of coaching they will want to come back to be coached over issues such as work-life balance, career coaching, stress management and other things they may encounter in their working lives.

So how about it, why not check this out on the website and book those sessions now, coaching at these prices cannot last. In fact Mums and Dads would this not be a wonderful investment as a Graduation present to help those off spring, spring forth into the rest of their lives?

Check it out now at www.barbaracobboldcoaching.co.uk

2009-05-09T14:38:00.000-07:00

Hi Everyone,
Seems like a while since I wrote the Blog so time to have a go again. This time I think it will be a reflective piece. Since I wrote the last time we have a had a traumatic time in our family, my ex-husband, the father of my children has died. It has been a time of great reflection and a time to contemplate the meaning of life and what is this life all about?

When the Vicar came to see the children to talk about their Dad and to think about the sort of send off they felt that he wanted, it was lovely to watch and listen to them recall with great glee some of the funny times in his life and the times that they remembered from when they were younger. Fun family times along with tearful times and then the things that make up family history and folk lore. Trailing through all those memories made me think and wonder what will people think about me when I am long gone?
My daughter through her reflections came out with a profound thought that each of us is here on this earth to learn a lesson and to teach a lesson and when our lessons are done it is time to move on to another place.
That made me think about all that lesson planning I had done in my time at University teaching Social Work students, was that the lesson I had to teach?
I dont think so, unless there were particular students to whom I had to teach a single lesson?
So what is that great lesson I have to teach, what wealth of knowledge or understanding have I to share and who is to be my student?
There is an old proverb that states that when the student is ready the teacher will come along. Now I think back to particular periods in my life when I have felt alone and unsure of the way ahead and inevitably a fellow traveller has joined me on the road, sometimes for a short way to get me on track and other times life long friendships formed. Often though when a particular crisis or life event has moved on the traveller moves on too, clearing the way for new companions to walk the walk with us. Are they on their journey teaching lessons that they were meant to teach in their life time, whilst we are there, as students to learn?

Think back to times in your life, perhaps time when you have hit a crisis and think back to who were the important people around you at that time, where are they now? Have they left and gone on with their own journey or have they become life long friends. Not all friendships are meant to be life friendships, they are transient in periods of our life.
So as we said our goodbyes to Dennis, it was time to think about the life lessons we had learned together and be thankful for the time we shared, the children we had brought into the world and loved together, but now time to let him go, a lesson learned and a lesson taught and time to enjoy pastures new.

For today, think about those around you who are important to you. Give thanks for their friendship and be ready to welcome new companions along life's way. Who knows perhaps our paths are destined to meet to help one another along the way?

2009-02-25T04:18:00.000-08:00

Hi Everyone,
Time to write for the Blog again, so decided I would spend some time this time trying to explain what I mean by Team Coaching.
I have been working as a Team Coach now for a couple of years and the feedback is quite amazing! Teams report back to me that they have had Team Building sessions before but nothing has helped them move forward with plans so much as Team Coaching. For some of the teams I have worked with their team building sessions have previously been a day away from the office undertaking some kind of physical activity or for less active teams perhaps a team meal where everyone has sat around in a social setting and had a chance to get to know one another in a less formal way. The feedback from these events has often been quite variable in that some people feel it has helped them to build relationships with other team members but for others where teams have been together for a long time these days are often a waste of time and nothing meaningful is gained from them.
So, how does team coaching differ from team building and where does it gain over team building?

Team Coaching starts where the team is at, it looks at team issues, it works with team members and helps each member see where they fit into the equation. It helps individuals see the way they as a small cog fit into the big wheel and what their contribution is to be within the team. Through the sessions individuals become accountable to the team and the team begins to move their own issues forward to increase productivity, improve relationships and provide a better service.

If all that sounds rather grand, why dont you try it out for yourself, give me a call and arrange a session with and for your team?

My recommendation would be to set up a series of sessions, spaced over a six month period, to ensure momentum and progress is maintained and the team then gains the necessary skills to move things forward for themselves once that momentum has been gained.
In six months time will you still be thinking about it or will you be looking back over the six months amazed at the progress that has been made?

Pick up the phone or click to take you back to the web site to make a contact request to me.
www.barbaracobboldcoaching.co.uk

I will look forward to hearing from you soon.

2009-02-12T07:43:00.000-08:00

PS. Just a thought, if any one out there is reading this and is interested in some training about supervision, ie how to set up effective sessions, planning and preparation etc please give me a call and we can discuss, I have a number of courses to hand that would meet requirements or I can create a new course for you. Contact me either through the web site or through the usual channels.

Barbara

2009-02-12T07:01:00.000-08:00

Hi everyone, it seems like a while since I wrote for the blog so seeing as it is a cold snowy afternoon I decided that I would spend time indoors keeping warm and writing another entry.
A couple of weeks ago I delivered some training for a local agency on supervision. When the agency approached me regarding the training I remember them telling me that they had a supervision policy and that supervision was something that was happening in their organisation, they believed, on a regular basis. My own perspective of that was a little different to theirs. During the time I was doing work in the agency, on several occassions if I asked about supervision, I got different answers according to who I asked. Then, over a period of time, realised that although there was a policy in place, it had become one of those areas where it was part of a good intention, but the reality was that it somehow had slipped to the bottom of the pile.

So often in life it is easy to believe that we are doing something, and we convince ourselves that we really are, eating a healthy diet, drinking our six glasses of water, taking regular exercise etc etc. but how honest are we really being with ourselves?

I know through the festive period my "healthy diet" took on a new slant, eating chocolate became a part of the healthy diet. I once read in a magazine that chocolate eaten in moderation was good for you, so it was easy to make the link between that and adding it on to my list of healthy foods!
In the same way the regular exercise which was easily accomplished on a fine sunny afternoon taking Bonnie, my little Jack Russel for a walk, soon fell into being a non priority and rushing round the house running up and down the stairs soon became the "regular exercise" I was becoming used to!

So what do we need to do to ensure that we are keeping on track and not slipping into shabby habits about what we need to do?

I am currently coaching a client who has been feeling a little disgruntled about her progress in meeting her goals and seemed to be constantly beating herself up for not having lost enough weight, done enough exercise, been sufficiently focussed on her achievements etc. We spent her session that week considering how much weight was she trying to lose? How much exercise was enough exercise? How much was she trying to achieve?

Through the session she came to recognise that her goals were not clear, she had not reviewed them for some time and as her life was changing her needs too were changing, she realised that the weight she was trying to lose was in fact possibly no longer a realistic target but actually one that she had set for herself many years ago and was still, some ten years on, trying hard to achieve! In all the ten years of trying, the weight loss had never been achieved and she constantly swung on the pendulum of the scales between feeling ecstatic and then extremely miserable as her weight fluctuated up and down the scale. She recalled periods of time in the past ten years of feeling happy and healthy but recognised that this feeling was not down to her weight but to internal feelings that had been created by external events. Somehow in her mind she was living in this futuristic place of thinking that she could only be happy when she had lost weight. Through our discussions she came to recognise that the weight was probably secondary to her feelings about herself. Once she felt that she could accept herself for who she is and give herself permission to be happy whatever weight she is, she felt that she may have gained a key to her future happiness.

So often in life we are so bound up with promising ourselves that our life will be happy once we have a beautiful home, a new car, a fabulous figure, etc that we dont give ourselves permission to be happy now.

So what are the key messages from this?
I guess the first one is to be honest with yourself. By being clear about what you are doing or not doing and why?
The second one is to be clear about what are you trying to achieve? Regularly review those goals to ensure that they remain pertinent to you and the way things are for you now. Time moves on and expectations and requirements change, ensure the goals you are trying to achieve continue to serve you well, if not change them!
The third message is to live your life to the full, live for today and let tomorrow look after itself.

2008-11-23T06:02:00.001-08:00

Blog 2

Well it is all go in my household at the moment; my eldest daughter is to be married at the end of this week. All the weeks of preparations finally coming to fruition as the plans for the big day finally come together. When the engagement was announced in December last year we anticipated a wedding in September this year and began to make plans towards the happy day, but it seemed that at every turn and twist of the way the plans met with difficulties, initially the venue for the wedding was a major issue, the Bride from East Yorkshire, the Groom from Lancashire but the Bride and Groom now living in Staffordshire. Where was the wedding to take place?

The plans shifted from Lancashire to East Yorkshire; then from East Yorkshire to Staffordshire and finally settled in Lancashire, much to the relief of all those involved in the planning. Along side of this concern was the timing of the wedding, my daughter watched dismayed as a number of her friends planning their summer weddings were disappointed with the weather at the last minute, and her plans for September shifted to May the following year and finally settled in November this year. She reasoned that with the state of the weather at the moment that was not really to be a consideration as to when the wedding would or should take place.

So finally the venue and the date were set and then amazingly everything else fell into place. Friends who initially thought they would not be around for the wedding because of holidays and the like announced that they would be able to come along after all, seeing as this was now out of the holiday season, and prior to the Christmas celebrations, and would provide a high spot in the midst of the gloom at the end of the year.

How typical this has been in the way that it has mirrored things in my life. When I am trying to plan something and at every turn everything seems to be stacked against me and the plans I am trying to make, I often think it is for a very good reason. However, once I have got on to the right track everything just miraculously falls into place and all the plans come together with much less effort, leaving me wondering why I had found everything so difficult in the first place.

It seems that there is a greater plan out there for all of us and when we work with harmony within that plan we can make progress easily, however, when we try to run away from the way our life should be going then we encounter difficulties along the way, until we are back on the right path.

We talk about coincidences happening along the way, as though we are surprised when things happen as they should. For my daughter little things like the florist offering a good deal, because she was a friend and wanted to be able to help, another friend who had the time and space to ice the cake prior to being too busy with Christmas cakes, the venue she wanted to use having the availability in November which otherwise would have meant her waiting till 2010, all little things that built to make the bigger picture come together, to make her day come together as she wanted it to be.

I am a great believer that as one door closes another one springs open offering numerous opportunities that may have remained closed to us without the door closing. It just needs a different mind set sometimes to see the opportunities we are being given rather than being consumed by what we are losing.

For me, the opportunity to work in the university teaching students had felt like the perfect job for quite a long time. I enjoyed being involved in watching the students develop and mature in their minds and attitudes, as they moved towards graduation and I enjoyed meeting them again, once they had been in practice for a while, when they came back to tell me how a piece of my teaching had helped them gain a sense of what their work was about. When recognition came to me that I could not continue in that field, I was initially overcome with grief for the life and life style I would be leaving behind. I continually looked to the past and focused on what was familiar but couldn’t envisage a future with the new opportunities that was coming in for me.

Life is a journey, at each stage along the way we develop skills and pick up tools to help us on the next stage of the journey. The secret is to only take from that experience what is useful to help you to move on to the next stage of your life. Then move forward with confidence knowing that life will have equipped you with what ever you need to move on.

Clients come to me when they feel that their life is in disharmony. Through the sessions we explore what it is that they want to achieve with their life, in the short term and the longer term and then we chat about how things are at the present time for them and what progress they feel they have made along the way. We then look at what is preventing them from achieving their plans or objectives and how to get them back to feeling in harmony again. Sometimes it takes a little time to get back on track but often it is just about voicing and then giving yourself approval for the plans you are making. Once those plans are spoken out loud and shared they can begin to become reality. The next stage is to have a belief that your plans are valid and there is no reason why you cannot make them happen. Then if that is truly what you want, all you need to do is stand back and watch them come to fruition, just like our wedding.

Just remember, if thoughts become things, think good ones!

I will be back again soon with more thoughts to keep you thinking!

Barbara

2008-11-11T08:40:00.001-08:00

Barbara’s Blog 01.11.08

Well today it has finally happened, after months of preparation and discussion with Katrina my web site designer, the web site has finally launched. It really feels now as though things are starting to happen and move forward for me with the business.

Since I retired a year ago a lot has happened for me, in the lead up to me retiring I re trained as a life coach and began to prepare some training courses to take out to organisations across my area. I have spent a lot of money on training materials and training courses as I trained and learned to hone my skills in new areas.

I also worked closely with Keir, my own coach, in developing the business and gradually taking steps towards this new venture. At times along the way the going has been tough as I struggled to get the balance between work and life and maintain that balance. Lots of times I over did the work element as I fell back into old patterns of working then paid the cost of having to shut down for a few days as my body caught up once again. Keir, ever patient, reminded me of the progress I had made and helped me set realistic and achievable goals at each session.

On Tuesday this week when we had our session, he asked me what I wanted to work on and it felt very timely to say that I just wanted to take a time of reflection to consider the progress made over the past year. As I looked back to the position I was in last October, when I faced the unknown of early retirement, I remember thinking that my future was very uncertain, I had an inbuilt belief that everything would work out fine, I wasn’t sure how that could be or how I even knew that, but I did know, and now one year on I know I was right.
Keir gently prompted me to explain how I felt now, one year on. Through the session I explored some of the highs and lows of the year and by the end was able to conclude that I now feel very content with my life. I accept challenges as they come along and give thanks for my life now. I am content and happy with my lot. My future ambition is to help others achieve the level of peace and contentment I have finally found. I now know that true happiness and satisfaction is not found in material wealth or possessions but in an inner contentment, finding that quiet peaceful place within oneself where one can truly be at peace.

I know I am just on a new part of my journey, and the life path has twisted and turned in spite of my protestations. I feel privileged to know that I am happy and content with my lot. That doesn’t mean that all ambition has left me, far from it, it just means that the focus for my ambition has changed.

If you would like to learn more about the true secret of inner contentment why not give me a call and let me help you to find that place of inner contentment within yourself?

Life Journey

2008-07-30T07:21:00.000-07:00

Are we there yet?

How will we know?

Do we know where we are going?

Do you remember when you were young being asked, “What would you like to be when you grow up?”

That seemingly innocent question will have set you off along a path of discovery. Whether you actually achieved what you set out to do as a child will have a shaped the way you think and plan as an adult. At that critical time as you answered the question a plan began to be formulated and milestones were set along the way to help you to recognise the progress you were making towards achieving your goal. Perhaps as milestones were reached you re-evaluated your position and took a new path setting off towards a new goal or perhaps you plodded on resolutely to achieve the original goal. Some may have set targets beyond their belief and the milestones may have been set too far apart leading to plans being adapted to reach easier attained goals. For those who reached their goals, the support of family and friends may have been invaluable as the days when the goal seemed to remote to achieve they were encouraged by those around them who supported their efforts to achieve their dream.

Whatever the road or journey was like or indeed is like we all have the similarities along the way. At some point we will have set ourselves a goal – for some these will be consciously set and have clearly marked milestones to guide us along the way. For others the goal may not have consciously been set, but deep in our subconsciouswe have expecations of how our life will be.Perhaps the expectations of our parents or significant others shape the way our life pans out and we feel we have little or no influence on that. Societal expectaions about how boys or girls behave, what behaviour is acceptable or not, what expectations are regarding our role in life, our education, our work life, our social life, and every part of our being. Life chances can be enhanced or diminished according toour place and period of birth. Just consider the options available to a child born in the African region of Darfur compared to those born into a middle class family in the United Kingdom?

How would it be then if by making some clear goals in life your life could be transformed and you could feel that you were in the driving seat of life determining not only the direction your life might take but increasing your potential along the way?

Coaching helps to put you in control of your own life. You will be helped to recognise how you yourself ensure success or failure in your life, how it is you and only you who determines your life goals.

“If you think you can or you can't you are probably right!”

The secret though is to work slowly and determinedly through the issues, embracing all the opportunities along your path, having a complete belief in your ability to succeed.

“Oh, but what if...” I hear you say, “That's alright for you but you haven't been dealt the cards I have!”

Okay, no I haven't, but I have learnedthat I am either for me or against me – my every thought enables or prevents me achieving my goals.

I could do that for you too! As your coach, I would have complete and absolute belief in you and your ability to achieve your hopes and desires. I will help you learn to address the “Shitty Committee” that congregates in your head telling you that people like you dont achieve great things and together we will set in place milestones to help you work towards those goals. So, start to live that dream today, write down that goal, have a belief that you can achieve whatever you want to do and then pick up the phone and share that dream with me.

Together we will make it happen, then you you will know where you are going and know with some certainty when you have arrived!

Barbara J. Cobbold

30.06.08

Are Your Limiting Beliefs Preventing You Achieving the Life You Know You Deserve?

2008-07-30T07:20:00.000-07:00

Do you ever read inspirational stories in magazines and wonder why this person’s life is so blessed yet yours is so lacking?

Yet when you start to read the article invariably the person you are reading about has not always had it so easy. The common theme for the transformation seems to be a point where the person decides quite startlingly to make a change. The change always begins in the person’s head, they have a “light bulb moment” when they decide things will have to change and they take control of their life and determine a new direction.

The light bulb moment is the trigger which pre-empts the change and the person then begins to see their life in a new way. They plan how they want their life to be and then either consciously or sub-consciously begin to plan a way forward.

In order to effect the most change the person needs to have a total belief in their ability to achieve this challenge. This is the most difficult part as one tries to move forward towards the goal, friends, family and well meaning others watch and wait for the mission to fail and to be able to say, “We knew you couldn’t do it!”

This is not because they want you to fail, it just helps them to justify why they don’t break out of their own comfort zone and familiar routines to try to achieve something new.

So, why would this exciting prospect for your future fail to materialise and struggle to move away from the starting blocks?

From an early age we are conditioned to accept our lot in life and not step out of the self imposed restrictions to improve our position.

We are encouraged to believe that it is too hard, too complicated, and too far; we are not rich enough, clever enough, or powerful enough nor even deserve to achieve great things. We cite examples of people who have tried and failed and to ensure we don’t fail, we get out of the habit of trying.

As we grow through childhood into adolescence we are conditioned to know the boundaries of our potential. Grandiose ideas of stepping out of our comfort zone become objects for derision, and slowly we become conditioned to accept our lot. Well meaning parents do not condition their children out of malice or mal intent but out of good will and best intention to ensure that their children do not become pretentious and conceited and instead “fit” the norms of society.

If we truly believed that we live in an open society where all children grow up to achieve their true potential why do so many children grow up to replicate the lives and expectations of their parents?

So, have you come to a place in your life where, you know deep inside that “something” has to give; you know that you deserve much more out of your life and you know you could do it, if only you had the support to bolster up that self belief.

The good news is that you can achieve your dreams and ambitions. A life coach will help you to challenge the limiting beliefs that have been imposed on your sub-conscious from childhood. You will be helped and supported to take small steps towards your goal, the coach will have belief in you and encourage you forward, helping you to develop a new set of beliefs that will serve to help you have the knowledge that you can do great things and achieve what you always believed was beyond your reach.

Reach out for the stars, they are your to touch.

Barbara J. Cobbold

30.06.08

Barbara Cobbold is a Life Coach, based in Driffield in East Yorkshire and can be contacted on 01377 254493 or by e mail barbaracobbold@msn.com.

Why not call her now to arrange an appointment for a complimentary 30 minute session to discuss your situation.

How to Bake Buns and Influence People

2008-07-30T07:17:00.000-07:00

How to Bake Buns and Influence People

Baking cakes for friends and family was always a pleasurable experience for me, but it was only recently when a friend of mine disclosed the impact this simple act had on her and the way she perceived me, that I began to consider the way it had shaped me into the person I had become.

As a young Mum I had wanted my children to experience the pleasure of baking cakes to eat and share with friends and family as I had done. Sharing food with family and friends is a wonderful expression of love for one another. Jamie Oliver and Gordon Ramsay are working hard to get us all back in the kitchen to enjoy the benefits of healthy eating but the key thing they are missing is that sense of belonging and family time that goes along with that.

Generations of Mums and Grandmas have spent time passing down recipes and skills to each new generation and built up a raft of inter-generational skills adapted to the technology of the age. Cooking and baking was, for me, part of the recognition of the transition from childhood to adulthood. As a child I would sit attentively as I watched my Mum blend together the mixture in the bowl and then I, with sleeves rolled up, pinny on and balancing precariously on a chair at my Mum’s elbow, would enthusiastically lick out the bowl and the wooden spoon as my part of helping in the process. As I grew up I moved on to become adept at mixing and stirring the magical mixture that went into the oven a soft creamy concoction and came out thirty minutes later as a wonderful steamy sponge that I knew I would be asked to ice and decorate with butter icing and an assortment of sweets and sugar strands before I could present my offering to the family at tea time.

As I grew up and the need for the kitchen chair to stand on diminished, my skills grew and I graduated through the various processes, learning to weigh the ingredients accurately to ensure the correct mix, learning to read the recipes and translate the different terms to produce the magical creations that were consumed with such gusto at tea time. The day dawned when I was allowed to put my cake into the hot oven and take it out, after testing to ensure it was cooked. What cause for celebration! I was now able to accomplish all the different stages required in order to make the cake, perhaps now I was considered an adult? Alas no, this was just another step along the way and there were more skills to learn and master and other exciting things to discover.

So, what did I learn along the way?

Was it just the skill of baking a cake?

No, it was so much more than that. I learned the joy of sharing cake with friends, a cake that represents so much more than the sugar sweet concoction we eat. It represented a love for those who shared the cake, it showed me that love passes through the generations and that family is the place where children grow to learn and trust those around them and that learning is done in ages and stages as children are ready to learn life's lessons. Elders, friends and family teach the lessons through love. As a small child I stood on a kitchen chair at my mothers elbow to reach the table and share in the experience. As an adult and a mother myself, I support my children as they grow and learn to stand alone equipped with the skills they need for life. When the time is right the chair is moved to the side but the support is still there.

Yes, Jamie and Gordon you are right, we need to get families back into the kitchen to learn to cook and eat healthy meals but also to learn those other valuable lessons of life. I never realised all those years ago how the simple pleasure of baking and eating cakes could have such an influence on myself and others.

Barbara J. Cobbold

27.06.08

2008-07-30T07:14:00.000-07:00

Barbara Cobbold
Personal Life Coach

I have a background of working with a wide range of people in a variety of situations as a qualified Social Worker and Coach. I have spent many years working in adoption and fostering services supporting individuals through life traumas and helping them to achieve their ambitions around family life.

Latterly I have worked as University Lecturer, teaching and training prospective Social Workers to become competent in their profession. It is through this work that I became particularly interested in motivation and achievement, which led me to qualify as a Personal Life Coach through the Coaching Academy.

My main interest or niche in coaching is, enabling others to achieve through life changing events. I am particularly interested in working with individuals who have had change enforced upon them by situations, which may not be of their own making. People facing changes in their lifestyle following divorce, bereavement, retirement, ill health etc. could all benefit from my services.

Through coaching you I will help you to identify and set goals and then take specific steps towards achieving those goals which will in turn lead you to a more certain future.

Coaching is different from counselling. Coaches work with individuals to help them make plans for their future. Through coaching I will help you to confront your limiting beliefs and achieve things in your life that until now, you had believed were impossible.

Does this sound like a service you could use right now?

Phone Barbara Cobbold on 01377 254493 now to discuss your situation and then sit back and wait for things to happen.

Dreams can come true!