Blog 2

Well it is all go in my household at the moment; my eldest daughter is to be married at the end of this week. All the weeks of preparations finally coming to fruition as the plans for the big day finally come together. When the engagement was announced in December last year we anticipated a wedding in September this year and began to make plans towards the happy day, but it seemed that at every turn and twist of the way the plans met with difficulties, initially the venue for the wedding was a major issue, the Bride from East Yorkshire, the Groom from Lancashire but the Bride and Groom now living in Staffordshire. Where was the wedding to take place?

The plans shifted from Lancashire to East Yorkshire; then from East Yorkshire to Staffordshire and finally settled in Lancashire, much to the relief of all those involved in the planning. Along side of this concern was the timing of the wedding, my daughter watched dismayed as a number of her friends planning their summer weddings were disappointed with the weather at the last minute, and her plans for September shifted to May the following year and finally settled in November this year. She reasoned that with the state of the weather at the moment that was not really to be a consideration as to when the wedding would or should take place.

So finally the venue and the date were set and then amazingly everything else fell into place. Friends who initially thought they would not be around for the wedding because of holidays and the like announced that they would be able to come along after all, seeing as this was now out of the holiday season, and prior to the Christmas celebrations, and would provide a high spot in the midst of the gloom at the end of the year.

How typical this has been in the way that it has mirrored things in my life. When I am trying to plan something and at every turn everything seems to be stacked against me and the plans I am trying to make, I often think it is for a very good reason. However, once I have got on to the right track everything just miraculously falls into place and all the plans come together with much less effort, leaving me wondering why I had found everything so difficult in the first place.

It seems that there is a greater plan out there for all of us and when we work with harmony within that plan we can make progress easily, however, when we try to run away from the way our life should be going then we encounter difficulties along the way, until we are back on the right path.

We talk about coincidences happening along the way, as though we are surprised when things happen as they should. For my daughter little things like the florist offering a good deal, because she was a friend and wanted to be able to help, another friend who had the time and space to ice the cake prior to being too busy with Christmas cakes, the venue she wanted to use having the availability in November which otherwise would have meant her waiting till 2010, all little things that built to make the bigger picture come together, to make her day come together as she wanted it to be.

I am a great believer that as one door closes another one springs open offering numerous opportunities that may have remained closed to us without the door closing. It just needs a different mind set sometimes to see the opportunities we are being given rather than being consumed by what we are losing.

For me, the opportunity to work in the university teaching students had felt like the perfect job for quite a long time. I enjoyed being involved in watching the students develop and mature in their minds and attitudes, as they moved towards graduation and I enjoyed meeting them again, once they had been in practice for a while, when they came back to tell me how a piece of my teaching had helped them gain a sense of what their work was about. When recognition came to me that I could not continue in that field, I was initially overcome with grief for the life and life style I would be leaving behind. I continually looked to the past and focused on what was familiar but couldn’t envisage a future with the new opportunities that was coming in for me.

Life is a journey, at each stage along the way we develop skills and pick up tools to help us on the next stage of the journey. The secret is to only take from that experience what is useful to help you to move on to the next stage of your life. Then move forward with confidence knowing that life will have equipped you with what ever you need to move on.

Clients come to me when they feel that their life is in disharmony. Through the sessions we explore what it is that they want to achieve with their life, in the short term and the longer term and then we chat about how things are at the present time for them and what progress they feel they have made along the way. We then look at what is preventing them from achieving their plans or objectives and how to get them back to feeling in harmony again. Sometimes it takes a little time to get back on track but often it is just about voicing and then giving yourself approval for the plans you are making. Once those plans are spoken out loud and shared they can begin to become reality. The next stage is to have a belief that your plans are valid and there is no reason why you cannot make them happen. Then if that is truly what you want, all you need to do is stand back and watch them come to fruition, just like our wedding.

Just remember, if thoughts become things, think good ones!

I will be back again soon with more thoughts to keep you thinking!

Barbara

Barbara’s Blog 01.11.08

Well today it has finally happened, after months of preparation and discussion with Katrina my web site designer, the web site has finally launched. It really feels now as though things are starting to happen and move forward for me with the business.

Since I retired a year ago a lot has happened for me, in the lead up to me retiring I re trained as a life coach and began to prepare some training courses to take out to organisations across my area. I have spent a lot of money on training materials and training courses as I trained and learned to hone my skills in new areas.

I also worked closely with Keir, my own coach, in developing the business and gradually taking steps towards this new venture. At times along the way the going has been tough as I struggled to get the balance between work and life and maintain that balance. Lots of times I over did the work element as I fell back into old patterns of working then paid the cost of having to shut down for a few days as my body caught up once again. Keir, ever patient, reminded me of the progress I had made and helped me set realistic and achievable goals at each session.

On Tuesday this week when we had our session, he asked me what I wanted to work on and it felt very timely to say that I just wanted to take a time of reflection to consider the progress made over the past year. As I looked back to the position I was in last October, when I faced the unknown of early retirement, I remember thinking that my future was very uncertain, I had an inbuilt belief that everything would work out fine, I wasn’t sure how that could be or how I even knew that, but I did know, and now one year on I know I was right.
Keir gently prompted me to explain how I felt now, one year on. Through the session I explored some of the highs and lows of the year and by the end was able to conclude that I now feel very content with my life. I accept challenges as they come along and give thanks for my life now. I am content and happy with my lot. My future ambition is to help others achieve the level of peace and contentment I have finally found. I now know that true happiness and satisfaction is not found in material wealth or possessions but in an inner contentment, finding that quiet peaceful place within oneself where one can truly be at peace.

I know I am just on a new part of my journey, and the life path has twisted and turned in spite of my protestations. I feel privileged to know that I am happy and content with my lot. That doesn’t mean that all ambition has left me, far from it, it just means that the focus for my ambition has changed.

If you would like to learn more about the true secret of inner contentment why not give me a call and let me help you to find that place of inner contentment within yourself?

Life Journey

Are we there yet?

How will we know?

Do we know where we are going?

Do you remember when you were young being asked, “What would you like to be when you grow up?”

That seemingly innocent question will have set you off along a path of discovery. Whether you actually achieved what you set out to do as a child will have a shaped the way you think and plan as an adult. At that critical time as you answered the question a plan began to be formulated and milestones were set along the way to help you to recognise the progress you were making towards achieving your goal. Perhaps as milestones were reached you re-evaluated your position and took a new path setting off towards a new goal or perhaps you plodded on resolutely to achieve the original goal. Some may have set targets beyond their belief and the milestones may have been set too far apart leading to plans being adapted to reach easier attained goals. For those who reached their goals, the support of family and friends may have been invaluable as the days when the goal seemed to remote to achieve they were encouraged by those around them who supported their efforts to achieve their dream.

Whatever the road or journey was like or indeed is like we all have the similarities along the way. At some point we will have set ourselves a goal – for some these will be consciously set and have clearly marked milestones to guide us along the way. For others the goal may not have consciously been set, but deep in our subconsciouswe have expecations of how our life will be.Perhaps the expectations of our parents or significant others shape the way our life pans out and we feel we have little or no influence on that. Societal expectaions about how boys or girls behave, what behaviour is acceptable or not, what expectations are regarding our role in life, our education, our work life, our social life, and every part of our being. Life chances can be enhanced or diminished according toour place and period of birth. Just consider the options available to a child born in the African region of Darfur compared to those born into a middle class family in the United Kingdom?

How would it be then if by making some clear goals in life your life could be transformed and you could feel that you were in the driving seat of life determining not only the direction your life might take but increasing your potential along the way?

Coaching helps to put you in control of your own life. You will be helped to recognise how you yourself ensure success or failure in your life, how it is you and only you who determines your life goals.

“If you think you can or you can't you are probably right!”

The secret though is to work slowly and determinedly through the issues, embracing all the opportunities along your path, having a complete belief in your ability to succeed.

“Oh, but what if...” I hear you say, “That's alright for you but you haven't been dealt the cards I have!”

Okay, no I haven't, but I have learnedthat I am either for me or against me – my every thought enables or prevents me achieving my goals.

I could do that for you too! As your coach, I would have complete and absolute belief in you and your ability to achieve your hopes and desires. I will help you learn to address the “Shitty Committee” that congregates in your head telling you that people like you dont achieve great things and together we will set in place milestones to help you work towards those goals. So, start to live that dream today, write down that goal, have a belief that you can achieve whatever you want to do and then pick up the phone and share that dream with me.

Together we will make it happen, then you you will know where you are going and know with some certainty when you have arrived!

Barbara J. Cobbold

30.06.08

Are Your Limiting Beliefs Preventing You Achieving the Life You Know You Deserve?

Do you ever read inspirational stories in magazines and wonder why this person’s life is so blessed yet yours is so lacking?

Yet when you start to read the article invariably the person you are reading about has not always had it so easy. The common theme for the transformation seems to be a point where the person decides quite startlingly to make a change. The change always begins in the person’s head, they have a “light bulb moment” when they decide things will have to change and they take control of their life and determine a new direction.

The light bulb moment is the trigger which pre-empts the change and the person then begins to see their life in a new way. They plan how they want their life to be and then either consciously or sub-consciously begin to plan a way forward.

In order to effect the most change the person needs to have a total belief in their ability to achieve this challenge. This is the most difficult part as one tries to move forward towards the goal, friends, family and well meaning others watch and wait for the mission to fail and to be able to say, “We knew you couldn’t do it!”

This is not because they want you to fail, it just helps them to justify why they don’t break out of their own comfort zone and familiar routines to try to achieve something new.

So, why would this exciting prospect for your future fail to materialise and struggle to move away from the starting blocks?

From an early age we are conditioned to accept our lot in life and not step out of the self imposed restrictions to improve our position.

We are encouraged to believe that it is too hard, too complicated, and too far; we are not rich enough, clever enough, or powerful enough nor even deserve to achieve great things. We cite examples of people who have tried and failed and to ensure we don’t fail, we get out of the habit of trying.

As we grow through childhood into adolescence we are conditioned to know the boundaries of our potential. Grandiose ideas of stepping out of our comfort zone become objects for derision, and slowly we become conditioned to accept our lot. Well meaning parents do not condition their children out of malice or mal intent but out of good will and best intention to ensure that their children do not become pretentious and conceited and instead “fit” the norms of society.

If we truly believed that we live in an open society where all children grow up to achieve their true potential why do so many children grow up to replicate the lives and expectations of their parents?

So, have you come to a place in your life where, you know deep inside that “something” has to give; you know that you deserve much more out of your life and you know you could do it, if only you had the support to bolster up that self belief.

The good news is that you can achieve your dreams and ambitions. A life coach will help you to challenge the limiting beliefs that have been imposed on your sub-conscious from childhood. You will be helped and supported to take small steps towards your goal, the coach will have belief in you and encourage you forward, helping you to develop a new set of beliefs that will serve to help you have the knowledge that you can do great things and achieve what you always believed was beyond your reach.

Reach out for the stars, they are your to touch.

Barbara J. Cobbold

30.06.08

Barbara Cobbold is a Life Coach, based in Driffield in East Yorkshire and can be contacted on 01377 254493 or by e mail barbaracobbold@msn.com.

Why not call her now to arrange an appointment for a complimentary 30 minute session to discuss your situation.

How to Bake Buns and Influence People

Baking cakes for friends and family was always a pleasurable experience for me, but it was only recently when a friend of mine disclosed the impact this simple act had on her and the way she perceived me, that I began to consider the way it had shaped me into the person I had become.

As a young Mum I had wanted my children to experience the pleasure of baking cakes to eat and share with friends and family as I had done. Sharing food with family and friends is a wonderful expression of love for one another. Jamie Oliver and Gordon Ramsay are working hard to get us all back in the kitchen to enjoy the benefits of healthy eating but the key thing they are missing is that sense of belonging and family time that goes along with that.

Generations of Mums and Grandmas have spent time passing down recipes and skills to each new generation and built up a raft of inter-generational skills adapted to the technology of the age. Cooking and baking was, for me, part of the recognition of the transition from childhood to adulthood. As a child I would sit attentively as I watched my Mum blend together the mixture in the bowl and then I, with sleeves rolled up, pinny on and balancing precariously on a chair at my Mum’s elbow, would enthusiastically lick out the bowl and the wooden spoon as my part of helping in the process. As I grew up I moved on to become adept at mixing and stirring the magical mixture that went into the oven a soft creamy concoction and came out thirty minutes later as a wonderful steamy sponge that I knew I would be asked to ice and decorate with butter icing and an assortment of sweets and sugar strands before I could present my offering to the family at tea time.

As I grew up and the need for the kitchen chair to stand on diminished, my skills grew and I graduated through the various processes, learning to weigh the ingredients accurately to ensure the correct mix, learning to read the recipes and translate the different terms to produce the magical creations that were consumed with such gusto at tea time. The day dawned when I was allowed to put my cake into the hot oven and take it out, after testing to ensure it was cooked. What cause for celebration! I was now able to accomplish all the different stages required in order to make the cake, perhaps now I was considered an adult? Alas no, this was just another step along the way and there were more skills to learn and master and other exciting things to discover.

So, what did I learn along the way?

Was it just the skill of baking a cake?

No, it was so much more than that. I learned the joy of sharing cake with friends, a cake that represents so much more than the sugar sweet concoction we eat. It represented a love for those who shared the cake, it showed me that love passes through the generations and that family is the place where children grow to learn and trust those around them and that learning is done in ages and stages as children are ready to learn life's lessons. Elders, friends and family teach the lessons through love. As a small child I stood on a kitchen chair at my mothers elbow to reach the table and share in the experience. As an adult and a mother myself, I support my children as they grow and learn to stand alone equipped with the skills they need for life. When the time is right the chair is moved to the side but the support is still there.

Yes, Jamie and Gordon you are right, we need to get families back into the kitchen to learn to cook and eat healthy meals but also to learn those other valuable lessons of life. I never realised all those years ago how the simple pleasure of baking and eating cakes could have such an influence on myself and others.

Barbara J. Cobbold

27.06.08

Barbara Cobbold
Personal Life Coach

I have a background of working with a wide range of people in a variety of situations as a qualified Social Worker and Coach. I have spent many years working in adoption and fostering services supporting individuals through life traumas and helping them to achieve their ambitions around family life.

Latterly I have worked as University Lecturer, teaching and training prospective Social Workers to become competent in their profession. It is through this work that I became particularly interested in motivation and achievement, which led me to qualify as a Personal Life Coach through the Coaching Academy.

My main interest or niche in coaching is, enabling others to achieve through life changing events. I am particularly interested in working with individuals who have had change enforced upon them by situations, which may not be of their own making. People facing changes in their lifestyle following divorce, bereavement, retirement, ill health etc. could all benefit from my services.

Through coaching you I will help you to identify and set goals and then take specific steps towards achieving those goals which will in turn lead you to a more certain future.

Coaching is different from counselling. Coaches work with individuals to help them make plans for their future. Through coaching I will help you to confront your limiting beliefs and achieve things in your life that until now, you had believed were impossible.

Does this sound like a service you could use right now?

Phone Barbara Cobbold on 01377 254493 now to discuss your situation and then sit back and wait for things to happen.

Dreams can come true!