Just back from my holidays and wow, what a fantastic holiday that turned out to be! From the moment we left home to the moment we returned it was a thoroughly restful experience. For me the most awe inspiring site was the cruise down the Hardanger Fiord.
I found myself a quiet place on one of the upper decks, right at the front of the ship. As the ship cruised quietly and majestically along through the beautiful calm still waters I was taken aback by the sheer magnitude of what surrounded me. As we sailed along passing small wooden houses, sitting on the sides of the Fiords, I watched the waves from the ship splash silently onto the sheer sides of the mountainous cliffs. I watched the people waving from the shore at what must have looked to them, to be a very large ship, yet they appeared so small and hardly significant in the scale of what surrounded them. The mountains towered high to touch the clear sunset skies and the majesty of the scene almost overwhelmed me.
As I sat there marvelling at this wonderful creation that surrounded me and thought about how many centuries those mountains would have stood there, how many cruise ships they would have witnessed travelling down the Fiord I considered how insignificant we really are in the scale of things. I thought about all the things I have considered as problems and inconveniences over the years, how my worries about relationships, money, plans for the future etc., had at times overwhelmed me, and then considered how many other people may have had similar thoughts as they cruised down the Fiord. In spite of all those worries, life would go on, when we have long left this earth there will people in years to come who will marvel at the creation that was before me now It struck me that my small worries would be forgotten in a nano second compared to the impact this scenery was having on me and others like me over the centuries. Then I got to thinking, what was I capable of leaving behind that could possibly impact on people over the centuries in a way that this scene would?
No matter how important we think we are in this life, when we are gone memories soon fade away and we as mere human beings are soon forgotten. The earth itself has been here for so long and despite the way we treeat it as a whole, it will outlive us all giving pleasure to each and everyone of us from here to eternity.

So, as darkness fell and more food beckoned from the Dining room, I decided, "Get over youself girl, you will only walk this way once, take advantage of every opportunity that comes your way, be kind to things and people around you and give thanks for the life you have. It may not be a perfect life, but it is the one you were given so enjoy it. Live long, laugh often and love always whether that be to man or earth. Ensure you care for everything that you encounter to ensure the heritage for our children is not forgotten or harmed as we leave the earth to the next generation.

Past, present and future orientations

Hi Everyone,
Well this week it was my turn to take a leaf out of my own book and think about taking that summer vacation we all need so desperately, and that I was advocatig for us all in the last newsletters!
Speaking to a friend on Monday night we both decided we needed a break and by Tuesday lunch time the deed was done and the holidays booked, house sitters sorted, dog booked into kennels, and currency ordered. Now there is just that lovely period of anticipation waiting for the holiday to come. Planning all the lovely things we will do, the clothes I will need to buy, imagining all the interesting people I will meet and ....... oh the list could go on and on!
I think for me the anticipation and excitement is the best part, I am very future orientated, I live my life in full anticipation of how good things will be in the future when I have...... but that got me thinking about some of my clients and thinking about how so often some of them are stuck in their past, reflecting and going over past events, thinking if only... that they miss out on the present possibilities of what they could be enjoying now. Life is too short to be filled with regrets and to spend time musing about lost opportunities but the danger for me in being future orientated is that I am in danger of missing out on the here and now. I am so busy anticipating my holidays that I might miss the lovely things that are happening right now under my nose!
In my work with clients it is important to find out where and how they live their lives to ensure they get the most out of the opportunities being made available to them. It is important to get a balance between all three areas and not be so entrenched in one area to the detriment of the others. If we fail to spend any time in our past orientation then we fail to gain all the benefit we could from reflecting on what we did, what we felt about it and what we learned from the process, if we are too engrossed in the present we might fail to identify new opportunities on the horizon and if we are too future orientated life will just pass us by and we will be left wondering what happened along the way as we sit quietly at the end of our lives only then having the time to really reflect on how things were along the way!

So I guess my message is take each day as it comes, enjoy the moment, reflect on things completed and done but do not dwell needlessly on lost opportunities or you may miss the next batch as they come along.

I have a special offer on personal coaching sessions at the moment, just for the month of August, contact me now to hear more. This offer cant last long and once the places have all been taken up prices will revert to their usual rates. If you book and pay for 4 sessions in advance you can have them for the price of three! How about that for a summer bargain!

Hi Everyone,
This week has been an exciting time in my house, my youngest daughter has just graduated from University with her 2:1 BSc Geography and I am one very proud Mum!
It has not been an easy time for her as she has worked through her final year and now safely at the end of the degree it seemed to me that this would be a very exciting time for her as she started to plan the next stage of her life. However along with a large number of her friends this new status seems to have come with a new set of challenges, what is this new stage of her life to be?
Will she seek employment and a car and all the trappings that go along with that or is this a time to explore the world and all that it has to offer, or are there other things that I have yet to hear about that she might have up her sleeve?

This dilemna got me thinking that although as adults we may have gone through University with a clear expectation at the end of what our next step might be, the choices for young people today are somewhat different to the ones we had. travelling is now a favoured option by many, others like to take on a number of different jobs to widen their CV prior to looking at longer term options while others may opt for straight employment or maybe graduate schemes. One thing that seems to be common for many young people is the lack of "something" that prevents them moving on. For some that may be confidence, others may have a lack of understanding about the processes, for others it may be a a lack of awareness or knowledge about what to do.

So my thoughts went on, how could I as a life coach help with this process?
I thought about the model I work to and realised that the model would work perfectly to help the graduates consider their options. The next stumbling block may have been the price, so as a Mother of a new graduate I thought about how could this be made accessible for penniless graduates?

In training as prospective coaches, we were encouraged to consider the perceived value of the coaching for the client, and with this in mind I started to consider the costings and how I could encourage the graduates to come along and have a taster of what the coaching could offer to them. To this end I am offering taster sessions in what will be a user-friendly format where a group of up to 5 graduates can book my services for a flat fee of £300 for 3 x 2 hour sessions.
In this way we can begin to look at the coaching process, they will each gain an understanding of how coaching works and they will be able to make a plan for the next steps of their life. At the end of these three sessions the graduates can negotiate further group sessions if this is working for them or they may prefer individual sessions either by phone or face to face to move them on to their desired outcome.

One thing I will guarantee is that provided they come along committed to the process the coaching will work and will shift some of the perceived blocks in their minds that may be preventing them from achieving their goals and by the end of the three weeks plans will be in place to move them on!

The pay off for me is that once these young people have experienced the power and effectiveness of coaching they will want to come back to be coached over issues such as work-life balance, career coaching, stress management and other things they may encounter in their working lives.

So how about it, why not check this out on the website and book those sessions now, coaching at these prices cannot last. In fact Mums and Dads would this not be a wonderful investment as a Graduation present to help those off spring, spring forth into the rest of their lives?

Check it out now at www.barbaracobboldcoaching.co.uk

Hi Everyone,
Seems like a while since I wrote the Blog so time to have a go again. This time I think it will be a reflective piece. Since I wrote the last time we have a had a traumatic time in our family, my ex-husband, the father of my children has died. It has been a time of great reflection and a time to contemplate the meaning of life and what is this life all about?

When the Vicar came to see the children to talk about their Dad and to think about the sort of send off they felt that he wanted, it was lovely to watch and listen to them recall with great glee some of the funny times in his life and the times that they remembered from when they were younger. Fun family times along with tearful times and then the things that make up family history and folk lore. Trailing through all those memories made me think and wonder what will people think about me when I am long gone?
My daughter through her reflections came out with a profound thought that each of us is here on this earth to learn a lesson and to teach a lesson and when our lessons are done it is time to move on to another place.
That made me think about all that lesson planning I had done in my time at University teaching Social Work students, was that the lesson I had to teach?
I dont think so, unless there were particular students to whom I had to teach a single lesson?
So what is that great lesson I have to teach, what wealth of knowledge or understanding have I to share and who is to be my student?
There is an old proverb that states that when the student is ready the teacher will come along. Now I think back to particular periods in my life when I have felt alone and unsure of the way ahead and inevitably a fellow traveller has joined me on the road, sometimes for a short way to get me on track and other times life long friendships formed. Often though when a particular crisis or life event has moved on the traveller moves on too, clearing the way for new companions to walk the walk with us. Are they on their journey teaching lessons that they were meant to teach in their life time, whilst we are there, as students to learn?

Think back to times in your life, perhaps time when you have hit a crisis and think back to who were the important people around you at that time, where are they now? Have they left and gone on with their own journey or have they become life long friends. Not all friendships are meant to be life friendships, they are transient in periods of our life.
So as we said our goodbyes to Dennis, it was time to think about the life lessons we had learned together and be thankful for the time we shared, the children we had brought into the world and loved together, but now time to let him go, a lesson learned and a lesson taught and time to enjoy pastures new.

For today, think about those around you who are important to you. Give thanks for their friendship and be ready to welcome new companions along life's way. Who knows perhaps our paths are destined to meet to help one another along the way?

Hi Everyone,
Time to write for the Blog again, so decided I would spend some time this time trying to explain what I mean by Team Coaching.
I have been working as a Team Coach now for a couple of years and the feedback is quite amazing! Teams report back to me that they have had Team Building sessions before but nothing has helped them move forward with plans so much as Team Coaching. For some of the teams I have worked with their team building sessions have previously been a day away from the office undertaking some kind of physical activity or for less active teams perhaps a team meal where everyone has sat around in a social setting and had a chance to get to know one another in a less formal way. The feedback from these events has often been quite variable in that some people feel it has helped them to build relationships with other team members but for others where teams have been together for a long time these days are often a waste of time and nothing meaningful is gained from them.
So, how does team coaching differ from team building and where does it gain over team building?

Team Coaching starts where the team is at, it looks at team issues, it works with team members and helps each member see where they fit into the equation. It helps individuals see the way they as a small cog fit into the big wheel and what their contribution is to be within the team. Through the sessions individuals become accountable to the team and the team begins to move their own issues forward to increase productivity, improve relationships and provide a better service.

If all that sounds rather grand, why dont you try it out for yourself, give me a call and arrange a session with and for your team?

My recommendation would be to set up a series of sessions, spaced over a six month period, to ensure momentum and progress is maintained and the team then gains the necessary skills to move things forward for themselves once that momentum has been gained.
In six months time will you still be thinking about it or will you be looking back over the six months amazed at the progress that has been made?

Pick up the phone or click to take you back to the web site to make a contact request to me.
www.barbaracobboldcoaching.co.uk

I will look forward to hearing from you soon.

PS. Just a thought, if any one out there is reading this and is interested in some training about supervision, ie how to set up effective sessions, planning and preparation etc please give me a call and we can discuss, I have a number of courses to hand that would meet requirements or I can create a new course for you. Contact me either through the web site or through the usual channels.

Barbara

Hi everyone, it seems like a while since I wrote for the blog so seeing as it is a cold snowy afternoon I decided that I would spend time indoors keeping warm and writing another entry.
A couple of weeks ago I delivered some training for a local agency on supervision. When the agency approached me regarding the training I remember them telling me that they had a supervision policy and that supervision was something that was happening in their organisation, they believed, on a regular basis. My own perspective of that was a little different to theirs. During the time I was doing work in the agency, on several occassions if I asked about supervision, I got different answers according to who I asked. Then, over a period of time, realised that although there was a policy in place, it had become one of those areas where it was part of a good intention, but the reality was that it somehow had slipped to the bottom of the pile.

So often in life it is easy to believe that we are doing something, and we convince ourselves that we really are, eating a healthy diet, drinking our six glasses of water, taking regular exercise etc etc. but how honest are we really being with ourselves?

I know through the festive period my "healthy diet" took on a new slant, eating chocolate became a part of the healthy diet. I once read in a magazine that chocolate eaten in moderation was good for you, so it was easy to make the link between that and adding it on to my list of healthy foods!
In the same way the regular exercise which was easily accomplished on a fine sunny afternoon taking Bonnie, my little Jack Russel for a walk, soon fell into being a non priority and rushing round the house running up and down the stairs soon became the "regular exercise" I was becoming used to!

So what do we need to do to ensure that we are keeping on track and not slipping into shabby habits about what we need to do?

I am currently coaching a client who has been feeling a little disgruntled about her progress in meeting her goals and seemed to be constantly beating herself up for not having lost enough weight, done enough exercise, been sufficiently focussed on her achievements etc. We spent her session that week considering how much weight was she trying to lose? How much exercise was enough exercise? How much was she trying to achieve?

Through the session she came to recognise that her goals were not clear, she had not reviewed them for some time and as her life was changing her needs too were changing, she realised that the weight she was trying to lose was in fact possibly no longer a realistic target but actually one that she had set for herself many years ago and was still, some ten years on, trying hard to achieve! In all the ten years of trying, the weight loss had never been achieved and she constantly swung on the pendulum of the scales between feeling ecstatic and then extremely miserable as her weight fluctuated up and down the scale. She recalled periods of time in the past ten years of feeling happy and healthy but recognised that this feeling was not down to her weight but to internal feelings that had been created by external events. Somehow in her mind she was living in this futuristic place of thinking that she could only be happy when she had lost weight. Through our discussions she came to recognise that the weight was probably secondary to her feelings about herself. Once she felt that she could accept herself for who she is and give herself permission to be happy whatever weight she is, she felt that she may have gained a key to her future happiness.

So often in life we are so bound up with promising ourselves that our life will be happy once we have a beautiful home, a new car, a fabulous figure, etc that we dont give ourselves permission to be happy now.

So what are the key messages from this?
I guess the first one is to be honest with yourself. By being clear about what you are doing or not doing and why?
The second one is to be clear about what are you trying to achieve? Regularly review those goals to ensure that they remain pertinent to you and the way things are for you now. Time moves on and expectations and requirements change, ensure the goals you are trying to achieve continue to serve you well, if not change them!
The third message is to live your life to the full, live for today and let tomorrow look after itself.